21st Century Dating and Levels of.........DECEPTION!!!!

As we work towards our presentation date for out Impact on Technology projects, I am amazed at what I am learning about dating in the technological world.  Some findings are not a surprise, but others are a bit of a wake up call.  Today’s technology offers a wide range of dating options and presentation methods for the tech savvy user…….some which allow dating users to present themselves digitally and in a more favourable light.  It’s hard to believe I know (sarcastic), but there’s a bit of deception going on out there.  Researchers say however that the level of deception is mostly innocent, which at first was hard for me to wrap my head around.  Deception as a term equates to purposeful attempts to deceive.  Perhaps we can say what mostly goes on in the online dating world is ‘marketing’.   Users may make themselves just a little bit taller for example, or just a little bit lighter in the weight category.  Researchers believe that what keeps most online daters from over exaggerating statistics is the hope that someday, if there is a god, that they might actually meet in person.  Saying you weigh 185 lbs in a profile, when you actually weigh 235 pounds would not go unnoticed in a face-to-face encounter.  The deception therefore is meant to market with changes that may not be perceived by the eye.  Photography software is now readily available, and often part of your computer package in fact.  In the past, the ability to modify and adapt pictures was only permitted by professional photographers, but now any online dater can remove blemishes to smooth out the skin, and of course who wouldn’t choose just the right photo that puts you in the best light.  When we go out on a face-to-face date do we not try to put our best foot forward?

Another aspect of online dating that allows you to target potential partners is the ability to edit.  Tailoring your profile to better match the likes of someone you are interested in is a common practice.  Users however, through editing features have time on their side, and can adapt and tailor profiles to fit their needs.  Is this wrong, or is it just highlighting the positive?  Making up facts that make you seem like a perfect match is of course dishonest, but highlighting certain strengths and not others I think is just good marketing.  However, one must always remember that it all comes out in the wash in a face-to-face meeting, especially if there is any hope of continued dating success with that person.

A surprising finding was the use of mobile apps incorporating GPS on your cell phone.  Users create profiles on these apps, and with the use of mobile-location software, users can see who is around them, and how close.  In the gay community this became a very popular activity, as users can tell who is gay, and how close they are……kind of a mobile ‘gaydar’, that sixth sense that lets other gay men know who is gay around them.  Now technology takes the guess work out of it.  The mobile dating site ‘grindr’ claims accuracy within +/- 25metres.  According to the Guardian in the UK, this has proven to assist people in finding each other in locations where gay rights are struggling such as the middle east or China for example. It has helped to take down walls, and allow individuals to get together with less fear than normal. For whatever reason, the mobile technology has not been as closely monitored as the usual internet use.  This technology is becoming widely used in many mobile-dating communities.  Yes, I just used the phrase ‘mobile-dating communities’!  However, there is something a bit creepy about someone knowing you are only 25 metres away.  In online dating you are safely ensconced in your own home or wherever......but no one knows exactly where you are.  Is there a fear that this type of software and use of GPS can lead to unsavoury and inappropriate activities?

Speaking of inappropriate, an alarming bit of news just released today illustrates some obvious concerns.  Three large online dating sites (Match.com, eHarmony, and Sparks Network) have vowed to make online dating safer after a woman was attacked and sexually assaulted by a man she met online.  This man had a previous conviction of sexual assault. In a joint statement Tuesday these sites have “pledged to check subscribers against national sex offender registries” (Toronto Sun).  This is an American strategy that stems from meetings with the California Attorney General, and is just another sign, like in many areas of the online world, that not every online user is honest and decent.    Most sites offer tips about how to protect oneself from inappropriate online behaviour, and as a plenty of fish user myself  (It’s True, and no I’m not listing my profile name here!), I believe there is no better strategy than taking your time – why rush as mom used to say.   However, even the best attempts at protecting oneself can lead to unfortunate circumstances.  People find ways to use technology in ways most of us can't imagine, nor want to imagine.   Online dating has become a very accepted form of meeting future partners, but the technology is progressing faster than societies ability to adapt, and like other areas of online activity, caution is recommended

Hold Your Horses!!! I'm Not Willing to Risk Privacy.

As we being our final project on the impacts technology have on society, I began to think about which technologies impact my life the most.  The answer is not simple, as I cannot pick one or two technologies that have impacted me the most.  There is however one fact that cannot be underestimated.  Most of what I enjoy in life, most of what I take for granted in life, and most of what I expect to help me in the future is based on technology and its effects.  Today’s simple activities are a perfect example.  I worked on my wireless laptop this morning, taking for granted the miracle of servers and wireless connections.  I handed in my placement form to the Calgary Board wirelessly.  I used my cellphone this morning to have a video call with a friend in Edmonton, and we both had the nerve to complain about the size of the screen.  I had a shower by simply turning on the tap (I know you’re all relieved that I shower – and do it daily too), and then I got in my car to work on assignments at the Good Earth Café where I can take advantage of their free wireless network.

Obviously technology has greatly influenced our lives in positive ways.  However, there are areas in which we have concern.  Privacy policies with google and facebook create concern.  Just how much of our lives need to be monitored in the name of financial gain?  As it stands now we seem powerless against it.  As much as I detest intrusion into my private life by large companies, I accept that they are a business and making money.  However, we as the consumer and users of technology do indeed have a voice.  Our voice however is muted by the dependence we have on technology and ease of access to information and communication. 

Government too is picking up on the trend of using information via the web to find out what Canadians are doing.  Governments have realized that by looking at our individual IP protocols they can intrude into the lives of Canadians.  They propose this move in the name of protecting society, however it is nothing more than an invasion of privacy of law abiding Canadians.  Canadians are a savvy bunch however, and utilized internet sites such as openmedia.ca as well as more traditional methods such as email to tell government that this plan simply is not okay.  The power of technology has shown itself to be a powerful force in this area.  Protecting our privacy against government is one thing, but how can we have the same affect on google and facebook? 

Baker and Hubbard talk about these concerns, and feel that there is a push to slow down technological innovation to protect society, but at the same time believe that if we want to move forward, keep pushing ahead, we cannot fall into a ‘zero risk’ mentality.  I’m just not ready yet to concede that in order to move forward with technology in society that we must be willing to accept an invasion of our privacy in ways that we as a civilized society cannot even fully imagine.

References

Baker, K. M., & Hubbard, H. W. (). The impact of technology on society. Unknown, , .   Retrieved from http://www.aavpt.org/symposia/documents/BakerHubbard16-20.pdf